"Love Meets Sexual Needs" - Part 3

Your level of enjoyment during sex is much more about what is going on in your heart, mind, and spirit than in your body. Too often, we don’t prepare ourselves emotionally, spiritually, and relationally for sex, then wonder later why it was not fully satisfying. Since the sexual relationship is founded upon the strength of your commitment, love, and intimacy, it is necessary to work on these key elements before you are physically together. When a couple surrenders to God, knows and loves each other deeply, and then give themselves to one another, their intimacy and lovemaking launches to a new level of enjoyment.

Remember, intimacy means to be fully known and then fully loved. This requires a couple to first be honest and vulnerable with each other, then to accept and affirm your mutual love and commitment to one another. Love Dare offers the following steps to help you continually experience God’s blessings in your marriage and take your sex life to a higher level.

1 – Remove guilt. Anything weighing on your heart or conscience needs to be resolved. Spend a few minutes together in prayer, getting it right with God so that guilt is not corrupting or weighing down either of you. Recommit to God being at the center of your life and marriage.

2 – Remove bitterness. Unresolved anger extinguishes a romantic fire. So in addition to getting right with God, also get right with one another. Take time to discuss lingering issues and remove bitterness. Both parties must sincerely apologize and completely forgive any wrong that has come between you. This is vital to bringing about the true oneness and coming union that you both desire.

3 – Remove stress. Stress and worry distracts our minds and weighs down our hearts. Pray for one another and things you are worried about. Pray for God to intervene in those circumstances as well as to protect, bless, and strengthen your marriage. God calms our minds through prayer, brings emotional peace, and interweaves our heart together.

4 – Fill up with God’s love. As you are praying, thank God for His love for you and ask Him to make you a vessel of His love to your spouse. Pray also to be filled with His Holy Spirit and that His love, joy, and peace will be poured into your heart… and through you to each other (Romans 5:5 & Galatians 5:22).

5 – Overflow with thanksgiving. Ungratefulness and selfishness greatly diminish your level of satisfaction, not only in sexual intimacy but in all aspects of your life. It steals the joy from an experience and makes you feel devalued rather than built up. Thanksgiving is a way to focus on the positives of your spouse and increase their priceless worth in your heart and mind. So spend time thanking your spouse for anything they recently did for you, then let them do the same for you. Appreciate and honor the contributions that you make to one another’s lives.

6 – Pour out affirmation. Next, verbally affirm your love and long-term commitment to one another. Encourage each other with the things you most admire and respect, as well as the qualities and uniqueness that still attract you to this special person in your life. Cherish each other with your words, and receive their words of love and devotion for you (Proverbs 16:24).

7 – Have selfless sex. Celebrate your oneness and God’s gift of your spouse. As you delight in them and become physically intimate, both of you should focus on satisfying the needs and desires of the other before yourselves. Let your love unite in a feast of selfless affection (Song of Songs, Chapter 5).

This was a lengthy message, but I did not want to trim too much of the rich Love Dare material. I appreciate your indulgence and pray that you found practical value in it.